|
ray winstone 1:42 Fri Jan 29
Odes to Essex
|
|
For those of you amongst us that may have been born in gods own county, an interesting insight from West Ham's very own Champagne Socialist....
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000h6pr
|
|
|
Replies - In Chronological Order ( Show Newest Messages First)
Mr Kenzo
1:48 Fri Jan 29
Re: Odes to Essex
|
Billy Bragg ?
YOURS
|
lowermarshhammer
1:51 Fri Jan 29
Re: Odes to Essex
|
All four episodes so far have been a good listen.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000h6ps/episodes/player
There is a whole lot more to Essex than the 🍊 Sugarhut types as portrayed in the msm.
|
lowermarshhammer
1:52 Fri Jan 29
Re: Odes to Essex
|
Bragg's has been the worst episode. Still worth a listen though.
London is welcome to Barking.
We don't want it back.
|
ray winstone
1:57 Fri Jan 29
Re: Odes to Essex
|
Interesting to learn that Barking was a vibrant fishing village, how times change...
|
boltkunt
2:09 Fri Jan 29
Re: Odes to Essex
|
Bore off, ray
|
chim chim cha boo
2:44 Fri Jan 29
Re: Odes to Essex
|
Bluebirds sang our favourite tune
That scented summer’s afternoon
When the shadows vanish and the flowers swoon
It’s her sweet smile what dazzled ’em
By the, er, Hanging Gardens of Basildon
So long Charlene, see ya Shirl’
I’m stronging it with an Essex girl
One of the several wonders of the world
Turn left at Dagenham
For the, er, Hanging Gardens of Basildon
The Red-Wood Forest is a bunch of sticks
The Wall of China is just a pile of bricks
The Pyramids mean less than nix
It’s the A-13 I travel on
To the Hanging Gardens…
I beg your pardon?
I said the Hanging Gardens…
Of Baden-Baden?
No…
The Hanging Gardens of Basildon
|
SurfaceAgentX2Zero
3:52 Fri Jan 29
Re: Odes to Essex
|
And as I turn the colour-plates
Edwardian Essex opens wide,
Mirrored in ponds and seen through gates,
Sweet uneventful countryside.
“The vagrant visitor erstwhile,”
My colour-plate book says to me,
“Could wend by hedgerow-side and stile,
From Benfleet down to Leigh-on Sea.”
J Betjemen
|
Haz
8:48 Fri Jan 29
Re: Odes to Essex
|
Had a love affair with Nina
In the back of my cortina
A seasoned-up hyena
Could not have been more obscener
She took me to the cleaners
And other misdemeanours
But I got right up between her
Rum and her Ribena
Oh golly, oh gosh
Come and lie on the couch
With a nice bit of posh
From Burnham-on-Crouch
My given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
And I ain't a slouch
So, you ask Joyce and Vicky
About Billericay Dickie
I ain't an effing thicky
You ask Joyce and Vicky
I'm doing very well
Billericay Dickie by Ian Dury and the Blockheads
|
Dandy Lyon
1:16 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
|
Roses are red
Essex girls are Orange
When they open their mouth
They sound like a door hinge
Dandy Lyon 2021
|
Dandy Lyon
1:16 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
|
Roses are red
Essex girls are Orange
When they open their mouth
They sound like a door hinge
Dandy Lyon 2021
|
arsene york-hunt
2:34 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
|
A young girl from Basildon town,
In public would pull her drawers down
For a little cash,
She'd show you her gash,
And blow jobs were just a half crown
|
Alfie
3:02 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
|
Tina
Up the back of the demountables
The rough coving against your mandibles
I really liked you but the disgust on your face
Took me aback - put me off my grift.
Sorry if I didnt say much
I was captured - tractor beamed
With my cue fingers in your pocket.
Sorry if i was clumsy but
Neither of us knew what to do
I got straight to the 8 ball.
Dont think less of me.
The memory is less than happy for me too.
|
gank
3:18 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
|
On the M25, back to beautiful Kent
An exit too soon, off that sliproad I went
Saw a sign, "Welcome to Essex" on it.
So I turned right around, cos that place is DOG SHIT.
|
Alfie
3:38 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
|
I dont mind saying - ive had a little tear up at those words from Gankers.
The delicacy of the stanza.
The sheer fuck offness of the poetics
. If loving another purely through their words is possible - then my god sir - I wourd summon satan before the lord jesu and lay my life at his feet just to bow my head at your altar.
|
westhammerer
4:20 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
|
I too,
Alfie,
gaze in wonder
at Ganks stanza.
Off we go he says, metaphorically on the M25 but we know this is really a voyage to Hades/Eldorado/Neverneverland/Nirvana.
'Back to beautiful Kent', of course this is Kent as the Garden of England and the Garden of Eden before the Fall.
'An exit too soon' alludes perfectly to the fall of Adam and Eve, too soon they rushed to the forbidden fruit that is the sliproad.
'Saw a sign' - ah, here we leave the Old Testament for the New. Welcome to Jerusalem / Essex, its all the same when you are living in eschatological / allegorical times. Christs cross is the sign. The Bible as the highway code for atheists and nondrivers.
Ganks narrator rejects this - he turns right around - and this marks out the genius of the poem. We expect the same but he gives us difference. Or, to put it another way, we expect difference, but he delivers the same.
And the sheer linguistic delight of his shortening of because to cos! Ah, this is simply the lineage Gank works in, you can see the echo of Shakespeare, Milton, Byron, Ayers, Chegwin, et al.
And then the finale! I dont feel worthy to comment but simply must.
The CAPS of DOG SHIT.
How audacious! How modernist! How postmodernist! This is open warfare on decency and taste and the bourgeoisie. It is a sign for rebellion! What a slap in the face to preconceived notions of good taste, poetry, fine art, fine wine, and women and song. And a call to socialism and the overthrow of capital. It is all here in the CAPS of DOG SHIT.
I, for one, am with you Gank. We have their poetry. First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin.
We have the CAPS of DOG SHIT forever on our side and in ou soul.
Liberty. Equality. Fraternity.
|
gank
4:42 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
|
Had I only known that the two subsequent responses were to be from WHO's own laureate and then the most poetically-accomplished post ever seen on this website, I'd have given more time and thought to the composition and in particular, the iambics. However, since I am already hoisted upon this petard, I shall reiterate:
ESSEX IS DOG SHIT
|
gank
4:44 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
|
I would also, with the gift of foresight, have inserted an apostrophe before "cos". Alas, I am wont to type as I speak.
|
gank
4:49 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
|
...And as a final note,I am humbled by your allusion to my poetic soap box being shared by the ilk of Shakespeare and Byron, although I feel Keith Chegwin has no seat at this table. God bless his soul.
|
Alfs
5:02 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
|
Essex; West Ham fans, hot dog vans
Sluts with knickers around their knees
Doing anything that will please that handsome and charming
Not to mention disarming
Def Jam. The Hammers Fan.
The quirky Indian man
Who wears a turban
And a cock that tastes of marzipan.
|
chim chim cha boo
5:16 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
|
I'll have you know that Defs cock doesn't taste anything like marzipan.
Dried coriander, garam masala and of course the heady scent of cumin.
er...allegedly.
|
|
|
|
